— Jack Kerouac
A common theme right after the new year was, as it is every year, change or as I like to think of it, new beginnings. Alas, even as I sit here so soon after the new year and work on changing myself, I find that whole New Year’s resolution crap just that, crap. I’m not trying to change myself in order to be a part of a social custom, I’m trying to change myself because I dislike the direction that I have taken in my life thus far. And as I talk to my friends I’ve noticed that little by little their resolutions and adamant proclamations of change have gone by the wayside while I’m still here chugging, huffing, puffing, and getting perilously close to throwing up (thanks Insanity!). Now, I’m not trying to say that I’m any better than my friends, or that I have better goals, or more will power. It’s just that I need this to happen. I NEED to change my life. And while sure, my friends need to change some aspects, or lose like ten pounds, or stop eating right before, they were trying to change aspects. I’m changing my life.
I began this process shortly before the New Year. In fact it was two days after Christmas when I decided to quit smoking (for the umpteenth time). Needless to say, it was a failed scheme. It wasn’t until I read this book (by book I mean first chapter) by Charles Duhigg called The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. It’s not like those typical self-help books, well it may be, but I don’t read them so as far as I’m concerned it’s not. It reminds me a lot of Malcom Gladwell and some of the books he’s published.
Essentially, this book has helped me by pointing out that one of the reasons I keep making the same mistakes over and over again is due to the fact that I have bad habits, and if I change those habits by A) replacing the bad ones with good ones and B) having enough faith in myself to do it, then I can and will succeed in changing my life. Because that is the ultimate goal. Change my life, succeed and become the person that I not only want to be but the person I am meant to be.
I’ve decided to begin blogging in an effort to continue my education not only inside the classroom but out. I also want to use this platform as a way to document and record the changes I will slowly be making in my life over the coming months and hopefully years as well as a form of motivation. So, here it goes.
Since the new year, I have quit smoking cigarettes, started insanity and quit school. Bet you weren’t expecting that last one. But I am of the mindset right now that I want to make myself happy. And right now, school is not the thing. I have less than 30 credit hours to graduate, I know, what the hell am I doing, right? Well, let me just say this, normally I love school. I used to sincerely enjoy going to class and surrounding myself with intelligent intellectual individuals in order to garner as much knowledge as I possibly could. Yet, the prospect of going to school for two more semester is enough to start me on a path towards a panic attack. I know it sounds dramatic and childish and thus far silly, but I just can’t do it right now. Don’t get me wrong, I want to graduate, I want to finish and get a real world job and enter the “daily grind” but first I need to change myself for the better before its too late.
I’ve been putting off and putting off doing all of these things I want to do. I’ve been feeling trapped in my daily life. It is now time to change all of that. So, here I am working on the beginnings of a blog in order to document the changes that I will be making in my life. Any and all forms of motivation will be gladly appreciated.
- “Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve. You don’t need a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to...”